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FIGHT!

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Fight! @shantellewrites Feb 9, 2026 I’ve been in Fight mode my whole life. Can I feel safe before my birthday tomorrow? My mom walked her 17-yr old self to the hospital in labor. I was born on the ‘fifth’ floor like “Hustle Man”. I was born with a dislocated arm, and my arm had to be pinned up to my opposite shoulder. My crib was in a drawer at my great uncle’s house. My ONE memory of him is years later, when he tried to get me beat for not greeting him when I walked into the kitchen at my great aunt’s house. That means my first home couldn’t have been great. I’ve got two slits above my pussy from a double hernia. That means as a baby I was left without comfort to cry so much, that my insides spilled out. I don’t remember any of this, but they say your body keeps score. My mom was the smartest in her electronics class, beating out all the middle-aged white men. That’s how she made the best of getting kicked out of highschool, when she became too pregnant. Those...
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Antidepressants don’t work, You just hate your job

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Antidepressants don’t work, You just hate your job. Listening 13 minutes @shantellewrites After years of neuroscience research, I began this blog once I found my beliefs validated by Johann Hari’s book: Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope. Years later, I finished it after working about 5 more jobs. I had to start a new job before I completed this blog—to double-check I’m writing it ‘Wright’.  Depression doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.  “Depression is the body saying, ‘Fuck you! I don’t want to be this character anymore.’” - -   Jim Carrey,  Depression is a call to Deep Rest. Who’s Not Acting? In low-paying jobs, you do the MOST WORK with the MOST SURVEILLANCE. The more you get paid, the least likely you are to take drug tests, punch time clocks, and beg for time-off. You get paid to think. You are a better person. In Jerry McGuire , Dorothy Boyd says to her son: “ First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, n...
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Use Me - Best Way to feel better--Be of SERVICE to someone else.

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I finally found it

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I Finally Found It @shantellewrites August 6, 2025, 9:20pm Nothing can come in between me and writing this piece. I can’t answer a text, nor respond to the email you sent me about loving this quote. Cuz otherwise it might not get written. It might be too unbelievable to a writer with “work-PTSD” (a term coined by me). [1] Unity The People in this office are United. They are 1. A Seat at the Table Accountability Teams Work-Life Balance Wellness and Stretching Gifts before Dishonor Annie (1982) | Tomorrow Lyrics "Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance." ~Verna Myers They got it. The quote is from the Diversity and Inclusion slides in our elearning. You know every job has a set of digital lessons that bore you to death, but guarantee you at least the first paycheck. These videos are different. These videos match the vibe of the people. The people at this office truly smile at me. The people at this office are all shapes, sizes and colors in al...
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The Scary Bridge

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The Bridge [1] @shantellewrites June 28th, 2025, 9:21PM This is the scariest bridge I’ve ever crossed in my life, so I knew I’d write about it one day–while I was still on it. Before I pulled off, I selected the blue map route furthest to the right with the shortest time. Now I know, if you don’t see highway route icons, and just a blob of green, you won’t be driving anywhere near civilization. I took twists and turns onto dirt roads and was tempted to push the gas to 100, to speed by the endless corn fields and farmhouses.  As I twisted and turned down roads with no streetlamps, the sky seemed to turn black in an instant. There was no one really driving on these back roads late at night, except for what I assumed to be the occasional local. I found comfort driving behind someone who knew the way, focusing on their headlights instead of the tall menacing trees and darkness that surrounded me. Not looking up, I followed the lights about 2 cars ahead of me onto a narrow road. There’s...
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Scan🚦& Go💨

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  Scan 🚦 & Go 💨 @shantellewrites short reflection on Quitting a Job Day 1. May 28th, 2025, at 10:23PM (my daughter’s birthday) I ain’t even wait this time, I just let go. See the other night I typed a list of all the jobs I ever worked from the time I got my city permit to work before 16. Starting with getting fired on the very last day of camp, I continued the pattern to age 41, having worked 30 jobs and fired from 15. I changed the font color to red for the fire. This time, I made it through Day 1 training and was sent home with an appetizer of chicken nachos. They wouldn’t even let me pick my own app. I quickly saw the social structure and confirmed I was more than likely hired for my good looks and pleasant ass. Waitressing is like stripping with your clothes on. “ Don’t stiff me, Daddy. Tip me.” I never quit without a fight. I studied the training packets and made mnemonics to memorize the liquors. I scanned the menu and let ChatGPT make me an app. I spent $1 to play a...
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