Shant-Knows-It-All

  I Almost Got Shot 9 Times Like @50Cent @shantellewrites The first time I ever saw someone buss a gun I was 6, playing Double-Dutch in the parking lot of the YMCA day camp. I remember the smoke from the gun and as I looked up to God in the sky, the cross at the top of the church steeple. I always warn my daughter when she’s going out that if a problem pops off, make sure she goes in the opposite direction. Don't try to go see what’s going on cuz if someone pulls a gun in that fight, a bullet won’t have a name . I always thanked God for finding out about ‘who got shot’ over the telephone at home. I partied in the hood, but I didn’t parking lot pimp . I’m not nosey enough to die. But even that never stopped me from ducking bullets… #2 Roll Down the Window  Cause when the Oddfellas club let out and my responsible 16-year-old-self started high-stepping it back to my mom’s old white station wagon a few blocks away, the parking lot pimps followed me . My cousin jumped in the pass...

Waiting On A Man, Waiting on My Life @shantellewrites January 13, 2025 I didn’t live a life with my father. I just have a handful of mindset shifting memories. This blog excerpt, from an unfinished draft, is paired with 2 poems I wrote on Sunday, April 26th, 2026, in the grasses of UNCC-Charlotte, drawing a tree, prompted by my identification with Jeannette McCurdy’s (Sam from Victorious!) first novel, Half His Age: A Novel. . If my daddy didn’t want me, what man is going to want me? That’s really my core belief.  I want to believe it for myself, so I will expose and release the belief I have now. Let’s let the past go…it’s been draining my life. I AM FROM “THE BEST OF TIMES AND THE WORST OF TIMES.” HOMELESS SHELTERS AND BREAKERS MANSIONS POVERTY TO PURPOSE PASSION STIRS MY SADNESS WITH ABILITY TO CONNECT… FAST! BUT NOT LONG… LIKE MY FATHER, I WAITED AT THE WINDOW FOR NO VOICE TO CALL HIM, WHICH HE MAKES MY RESPONSIBILITY RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING BUT ME, SO I NEVER ...

Fight! @shantellewrites Feb 9, 2026 I’ve been in Fight mode my whole life. Can I feel safe before my birthday tomorrow? My mom walked her 17-yr old self to the hospital in labor. I was born on the ‘fifth’ floor like “Hustle Man”. I was born with a dislocated arm, and my arm had to be pinned up to my opposite shoulder. My crib was in a drawer at my great uncle’s house. My ONE memory of him is years later, when he tried to get me beat for not greeting him when I walked into the kitchen at my great aunt’s house. That means my first home couldn’t have been great. I’ve got two slits above my pussy from a double hernia. That means as a baby I was left without comfort to cry so much, that my insides spilled out. I don’t remember any of this, but they say your body keeps score. My mom was the smartest in her electronics class, beating out all the middle-aged white men. That’s how she made the best of getting kicked out of highschool, when she became too pregnant. Those...

Antidepressants don’t work, You just hate your job. Listening 13 minutes @shantellewrites After years of neuroscience research, I began this blog once I found my beliefs validated by Johann Hari’s book: Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope. Years later, I finished it after working about 5 more jobs. I had to start a new job before I completed this blog—to double-check I’m writing it ‘Wright’.  Depression doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.  “Depression is the body saying, ‘Fuck you! I don’t want to be this character anymore.’” - -   Jim Carrey,  Depression is a call to Deep Rest. Who’s Not Acting? In low-paying jobs, you do the MOST WORK with the MOST SURVEILLANCE. The more you get paid, the least likely you are to take drug tests, punch time clocks, and beg for time-off. You get paid to think. You are a better person. In Jerry McGuire , Dorothy Boyd says to her son: “ First class, that's what's wrong. It used to be a better meal, n...