Shant Knows It All

His Hands @shantellewrites started May 22, finished November 9th, 2022, My experience becoming trauma-bonded to a narcissist. “THE MOMENT YOU’VE CONVINCED SOMEONE THAT YOU TRULY UNDERSTAND HER DREAMS AND FEELINGS (THE WHOLE WORLD THAT SHE INHABITS), MENTAL AND BEHAVIORAL CHANGE BECOMES POSSIBLE, AND THE FOUNDATION FOR A BREAKTHROUGH HAS BEEN LAID.” - Chris Voss, Never Split The Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on it. His hands are what I love most about him. I’ve sat at the foot of his bed to massage his hands and his forearms from a work injury I can’t even remember right now. I doubt he remembers injury because he fearlessly approaches each day. I doubt he remembers I cared for him. I watch him wake without the anxiety, that keeps me from slumber. I don’t really sleep because I panic about waking up. He’ll quietly meditate and smoke his black before slipping into his work clothes. Well he doesn’t really slip  into th...

Stop Using Drugs @shantellewrites November 26th, 2024, In my new apartment after living a year at a long-term treatment facility. Trauma is a 'stupid friend' that our minds & bodies don't forget - Dr. Gabor Maté "We tend to think of the big-ticket things: sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, which happen a lot. But you can wound the child if you understand that trauma means a wound just by not picking them up when they're crying and they need your attention and you  don't give it to them." If you Google “stop using drugs” right now, you’ll get a crisis hotline number and some sponsored ads for for-profit rehabs. The best rehabs are available to those who have paid their insurance deductible. If you’re uninsured, you’ll get a jail cot. I went from riding horses to cold metal cots and uncooked sausage in the morning. I never thought I’d be the one trading jail trays, but 21 days in a state detox, and I’m fighting over an inheritance of eggs for coffee ...